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Features & Reviews

Size 12 is Not Fat by Meg Cabot: D

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From the back cover:
Heather wells rocks!

Or, at least, she did. That was before she left the pop-idol life behind after she gained a dress size or two—and lost a boyfriend, a recording contract, and her life savings. Now that the glamour and glory days of endless mall appearances are in the past, Heather’s perfectly happy with her new size 12 shape and her new job as an assistant dorm director at one of New York’s top colleges. That is, until the dead body of a female student from Heather’s residence hall is discovered at the bottom of an elevator shaft.

The cops and the college president are ready to chalk the death off as an accident, the result of reckless youthful mischief. But Heather knows teenage girls… and girls do not elevator surf. Yet no one wants to listen even when more students start turning up dead in equally ordinary and subtly sinister ways. So Heather makes the decision to take on yet another new career: as spunky girl detective!

But her new job comes with few benefits, no cheering crowds, and lots of liabilities, some of them potentially fatal. And nothing ticks off a killer more than a portly ex-pop star who’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong…

Review:
Um, blurb writers? Portly means fat.

I’ve read a lot by Meg Cabot, so I wasn’t expecting greatness, but this book is downright bad. Heather is incredibly annoying and distressingly immature for a 28-year-old. She’s planning to enter college and is considering a pre-med major. Why? Does she have a genuine interest in medicine? Does she feel it’s her calling to help people? Nope. It’s just because she thinks the guy she fancies prefers professional women. And she makes comments like (paraphrased) “What 18-year-old girl wouldn’t be so flattered by a cute older dude’s attentions that she’d be willing to boff him on very little acquaintance?”

Let’s pause here so you can envision the steam pouring from my ears.

Her “investigation” is pretty excruciating. Much of it is based on assumptions, like “girls who like Ziggy would not elevator surf” and some of the conclusions reached are unsupported or nonsensical. All too frequently, the mystery (such as it is—I guessed the culprit very early on) takes a backseat to Heather’s unwelcome and uninteresting romantic shenanigans. She can’t even manage to search a dead girl’s room properly without being distracted by a dude’s butt.

I could go on, but I really just want to put this whole thing behind me. As my husband punningly put it, “This book was read, and then it blew.” I urge all to steer clear of this one.

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg: B

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From the back cover:
Twelve-year-old Claudia Kincaid is restless. She wants to do something different, leaving her comfortable suburban life in Connecticut behind for awhile. And she wants to be gone just long enough to teach her parents to appreciate her. But as Claudia plans to run away, not just any place will do. She wants to live in style—in a place with a bit of luxury and some good company. Claudia settles on New York City’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. She invites her younger brother Jamie to come along too, not for companionship, but mostly because he is a miser and has saved up some money.

Unfortunately, the live-in at the museum isn’t all Claudia had hoped. She doesn’t feel any different than before. And soon she finds herself in the middle of an interesting museum mystery. Claudia sees a statue so beautiful that she cannot head back to Connecticut until she discovers its maker. The first clue is the statue’s former owner, Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, an unusual old woman who helps Claudia finally find her way home.

Review:
Children’s fiction is pretty hit or miss with me, it seems. Sometimes I love it to pieces, and other times I think I’m too old to really get it. I’m sure it would be fun for a 10-year-old to read about running away or having a secret, and they’d probably identify with all the sibling squabbles and stuff, but a stodgy grown-up like me can’t really get excited about any of it.

It was cute, and the idea that Claudia’s compulsion to run away (with every intention of returning) was all about the search for herself was kind of a subtle one. It’s not like she learned some “valuable lesson” about tolerance or something. It was rather old-fashioned, as one might expect from something penned in the ’60s, and on a few occasions, I’d swear the siblings’ dialogue wouldn’t have been out of place in some sitcom from that era.

I did really enjoy the illustrations done by the author. Claudia and Jamie were modelled after her own children and the drawings add further charm to the story—I particularly like the one where they’re looking rather bored while researching in a library.

I just wish I’d read it when I were younger.

Emma by Jane Austen: A

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From the back cover:
“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever and rich, with a comfortable house and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.”

With this opening sentence, a reader might seem quite justified in thinking Jane Austen to have painted herself into a corner. What could possibly happen from here? In Austen’s comedic masterpiece, however, Emma fancies herself a superb judge of human character and becomes entrenched in the amorous affairs of her friends. In doing so, she remains oblivious to her own romantic possibilities, and the resulting comical misunderstandings are highly entertaining.

This book is the acme of Jane Austen’s work, wry and funny all at the same time.

Review:
Merriam-Webster defines bildungsroman as “a novel about the moral and psychological growth of the main character.” I don’t think I’ve ever read anything that fit that description more than Emma.

I didn’t much care for the title character at first. In fact, she initially reminded me of Lady Catherine from Pride and Prejudice, dispensing unsolicited advice and basing many of her opinions on assumptions and an inordinate amount of focus on social standing. I found myself gleefully anticipating her comeuppance.

When she did begin to improve, Austen handled the transition incrementally, using friends to prompt Emma to give up meddling or urge her to accept a social engagement she’d believed beneath her notice. She learned from rebukes and mistakes and gradually became someone more likeable. The feminist in me tells me I should be perturbed that so many of these chastising remarks were delivered by her eventual love interest, but since Mr. Knightley was my favorite character, I can’t really be bothered.

The events of the plot were somewhat predictable, in a “the young lady introduced into the story in act two must be destined for the young man introduced not long after” sort of way. A big secret revealed toward the end was not a particular surprise, and also seemed recycled from Sense and Sensibility. Also, as I’m coming to find common in Austen’s novels, the sillier characters were given such free rein to display their ridiculousness that they really got on my nerves.

The end of the novel, however, was satisfying. I liked the way in which Emma was forced to finally realize her feelings for Mr. Knightley, as well as the mortification and regret over her past conduct that ensued. The conclusion could be called too tidy, I suppose, with no one left lonely or unhappy, but I found no fault with it.

Kare Kano 2 by Masami Tsuda: A

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From the back cover:
You know that couple who was obviously meant for each other, and everybody knew it, except them? That’s Yukino and Soichiro, the two top students in school, who are capable of anything other than a normal relationship. Still, despite all they’ve been through, it seems they could finally be getting together. But now, the school’s token pretty boy, Hideaki, is intent on wedging himself between them, for reasons they can’t begin to imagine.

Review:
One of the things I am enjoying most about Kare Kano is Tsuda’s innovative use of panels to dramatic effect. Take, for instance, the climax of chapter four. In what I would call one of the classic moments of shoujo manga, Yukino (after several failed attempts) finally reveals her feelings to Arima by silently taking his hand in the middle of a student council meeting. No words are spoken, and what follows are two pages of their facial reactions and then one final page, showing the both of them from behind. I can’t really explain why I love the perspective shift at the end so much, but I really do.

Another thing I like is that if a character is alone somewhere, like in a classroom or waiting outside a movie theatre, there will be a large panel of their environment and superimposed upon it will be tiny panels showing what’s going on in the immediate vicinity—some students laughing down the hall, a quiet patio, a couple meeting up for a date. There’s a lot of sky and clouds in her imagery, too, and though I won’t try to decipher its metaphorical meaning, it makes me realize the opening sequence of the anime was very appropriate. I must also mention the fabulous panel of Yukino’s silhouette against a darkening sky as she pined for Arima.

And, of course, I also like the story. I think I didn’t like the character of Hideaki much when I read this the first time, and now I wonder why that was. My second favorite chapter, after chapter 4, is chapter 7, where we see both Arima and Yukino’s differing perceptions of the same or similar events. Yukino worries she’s not good enough for Arima, and Arima worries he’s too boring in comparison with her, but by the end, they’ve each leant the other some optimism, so they end up reacting identically in a separate conversations with Hideaki. It’s neat.

Kare Kano 1 by Masami Tsuda: A+

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From the back cover:
Yukino Miyazawa has it all—perfect grades, looks, the admiration of her peers. She’s the #1 student at her school… at least she was until he showed up. The new boy, Souchirou Arima, one-ups her in every department. And the worst thing about it is that he’s sincere! With her ego in jeopardy, Yukino will do whatever it takes to regain the spotlight, but falling in love was never part of the plan.

Review:
What with watching the first disc of the anime twice, reading this volume way back in 2003, and rereading it now, I have consumed this portion of the Kare Kano storyline four times. I’ve read many other things in the interim, and I have to say this is still one of the best first volumes I’ve ever come across.

It’s so good it could function as a stand-alone. I didn’t like the anime much by its conclusion, though, and I’ve heard some unflattering comments about the manga, too, so I’m interested to see how I’ll like the bits I’ve not yet read. At the very least, I’ll always have volume one!

There are only three chapters collected in this volume, followed by an unrelated (but cute) short story. My favorite was the second. Arima, who had previously confessed romantic feelings to the “perfect” Yukino but who has since discovered that Yukino is a fraud, uses this knowledge to seemingly blackmail her into completing his student council work for him, which keeps her at school until late every evening.

When she finally tires of it and tells him he can go ahead and tell everyone her secret, a fabulous chase scene through the darkened halls and grounds of the school ensues until Arima finally prevails and reveals that he actually just did it to have an excuse to hang around her. Yukino finds that she’s relieved to learn that he actually does still care about her, and her gradual recognition of her feelings for Arima is very well done.

The other two chapters provide additional background on each of the main leads, though Arima is still kind of hard to figure out at this point. That’s probably because Yukino’s goal is shallow and simple—she wants to feel worshipped—while Arima is actually dealing with some darker family issues.

I really hope I don’t end up as displeased with this series as it seems others have done. For now, it’s hard to imagine that being the case.

Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery: B+

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From the back cover:
At sixteen Anne is grown up… almost. Her gray eyes shine like evening stars, but her red hair is still as peppery as her temper. In the years since she arrived at Green Gables as a freckle-faced orphan, she has earned the love of the people of Avonlea and a reputation for getting into scrapes. But when Anne begins her job as the new schoolteacher, the real test of her character begins.

Along with teaching the three Rs, she is learning how complicated life can be when she meddles in someone else’s romance, finds two new orphans at Green Gables, and wonders about the strange behavior of the very handsome Gilbert Blythe. As Anne enters womanhood, her adventures touch the heart and the funny bone.

Review:
There were some things that irritated me about Anne of Avonlea, even though it’s similar to its predecessor in pacing and story. Chiefly, I missed the adult perspective I enjoyed so much in the earlier work. There weren’t many segments at all from Marilla’s point of view this time around and without that fond yet practical outlook, Anne and her dreamy ramblings sometimes got on my nerves. I also found irritating two little boys, one mischievous and one fanciful, that it seemed I was supposed to find precious.

I did, however, like any scene where Anne and Gilbert were together or any where a potential relationship between them was discussed. The entire final quarter of the book—featuring a storm, a death, a wedding, and several departures—was also very good. Marilla made me all sniffly again, too, by arranging for it to be possible for Anne to go to college after all, an aspiration she had set aside in order to stay with Marilla, whose eyesight was failing. The college setting should put Anne and Gilbert together more often, and I’m looking forward to that.

As a final note, I’m going to start a tally of how many times Anne gets into a scrape as the result of grabbing the incorrect item from a pantry. So far, from the first two books, I have:
1. currant wine instead of raspberry cordial
2. linament instead of vanilla
3. red dye instead of freckle lotion.

Feel free to alert me in comments if I’ve missed any.

Ouran High School Host Club 10 by Bisco Hatori: B+

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From the back cover:
Ever since the day he helped her up from a nasty tumble, Black Magic Club member Reiko Kanazuki has been obsessed with Hunny. She is devoting all her knowledge of the dark arts to curse him and steal his soul. Will the sweetest member of the Host Club fall victim to her spells?

Review:
This series is starting to remind me of Hana-Kimi, which isn’t a compliment. While I enjoy some recurring characters, especially Kasanoda, I don’t particularly like it when long-forgotten characters reemerge out of the woodwork, like a coworker of Haruhi’s dad and a fruit-obsessed rival of Kyoya’s did in this volume.

A new character is also introduced. Mei is the rebellious daughter of the aforementioned coworker, and she’s not very interesting in and of herself. She does work well as a catalyst, however. When she decides to romantically pursue Tamaki, it prompts a tiny bit of progress from Tamaki and Haruhi regarding their feelings, which she picks up on. When she relates this to Kaoru, it coaxes out a bit more development. So, I suppose she’s useful in that respect.

One thing I wish is that the entire Host Club didn’t always have to show up to everything. It turns out that Tamaki was trying to help Mei and her father reconcile, and Haruhi decided to help him. It could’ve been so great if these two had just been doing it on their own. But no, the whole gang has to turn up and tip the scales in favor of hilarity.

There’s one completely random thing I do like, though. Towards the end of the volume, Mori is seen a few times with a baby chick in tow. Puzzled, I had to flip through the previous chapter until I finally spotted the panel where, quite unobtrusively in the background, Mori is seen patronizing a baby chick stall at a summer festival the gang attends. I like silly little things like that.

Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery: A+

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From the back cover:
The Cuthberts of Green Gables had decided to adopt an orphan—a nice sturdy boy to help Matthew with the farm chores. The orphanage sent a girl instead—a mischievous, talkative redhead who’d be no use at all. She would just have to go back.

But the longer Anne was there, the more no one could imagine Green Gables without her.

Review:
It’s really a wonderful thing when one can revisit a childhood favorite, unread for twenty years, and find that one loves it just as much as ever. It’s better still to find new things about it to love that went unnoticed by one’s younger self.

The things I’d remembered about this book were mostly Anne’s scrapes. I remembered too the characters who were important to Anne—Diana her bosom friend, Gilbert her rival, Matthew who loved her, and Marilla who was stern—but not a great deal about the adult characters beyond that. This time, I really noticed them, and was surprised to find how much I liked them in their own right, particularly Marilla.

I only recalled that Marilla came to love Anne eventually, but this time I could see how quickly it actually happened. I had no memory of noticing the frequent headaches she’d get, or how she reacted in desperate terror when an unconscious Anne was brought to Green Gables after a fall. Near the end of the book, when Marilla finally came out and told Anne she’d loved her all this time, I cried like a great big sap. I also began to see Anne more from the Cuthberts’ perspective, vulnerable and neglected at first and then later a source of tremendous pride.

I could pick out a few trifling matters to criticize, but my joy at rediscovering this book is so great that I don’t feel inclined to do so. I never did finish the series as a kid—I think I lost interest as Anne moved into adulthood—but am determined to rectify the matter.

Ouran High School Host Club 9 by Bisco Hatori: B

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From the back cover:
In middle school, Tamaki Suoh must entice the coldhearted twins, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, to join his newly created Host Club. But in order to get them to accept his proposal, he must first best them at their own game.

Review:
I didn’t find much to get excited about in this volume. Tamaki’s cuteness was its saving grace, enlivening an otherwise ho-hum chapter about the twins’ induction into the host club and making tolerable a story about an insufferable princess who visited the school and issued many orders. In the course of this latter story, at least, Tamaki finally caught a glimmer of his feelings for Haruhi, and they shared a sweet moment together.

I probably liked the last Host Club chapter in the volume the best simply for its final few pages. They were incredibly adorable, and it’s for moments like this that I read the series. I just wish there were more of them.

Another of the “Love Egoist” short stories was also included, about a boy with a sunny disposition in love with a subdued girl, and I was enjoying it pretty well while I was expecting a bittersweet ending, but the actual resolution was kind of disappointing.

This series definitely has patchy success in terms of keeping the right balance between episodic stories and character development; it didn’t manage too well this time.

Sand Chronicles 1 by Hinako Ashihara: A-

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From the back cover:
After her parents get divorced, Ann Uekusa and her mother move from Tokyo to rural Shimane. Accustomed to the anonymity of city living, Ann can’t get used to the almost overbearing kindness of the people in her mother’s hometown. But when personal tragedy strikes, Ann discovers how much she needs that kindness.

Review:
This was really good, with an original structure that made the story feel special. It started with Ann around age 26, packing and getting ready to get married and move overseas. A memento from her past triggered some memories, and the rest of the volume featured Ann at age 12, then at 14. The setting was also original, taking place in rural and snowy Shimane rather than an urban environment. The essence of a small town was captured nicely, and I swear the snowy scenes really looked cold.

The first story dealt with Ann and her mother in their new surroundings, with Ann meeting some kids her age as well as an old friend of her mother’s, who provided some background information. In the second, she and her friends went on a camping trip, which might sound like a set-up for lame filler, but which actually provided many good character moments. There were some things about the stories I didn’t like, like the predictable outcome of the situation with Ann’s mom in the first story or her obnoxious romantic rival in the second, but they were greatly outnumbered by the things I did like.

I thought it was interesting that the second chapter dealt in part with Ann’s menstrual cycle. That’s a topic I’d never seen in manga before, so it was pretty cool to see a character discussing it with her good friend and just boosted the realism of the series even further. There weren’t any wacky hijinks here, just an “honest girl with a strong will” making her way through some painful times while attempting to cherish each moment of life. I’m looking forward to the next volume.

A Shilling for Candles by Josephine Tey: B-

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From the back cover:
On a clear, sunny morning on the southern coast of England, the screaming gulls announce the location of a ghastly deed. The body of famous screen actress Christine Clay is found lying limp on the beach. Was it an accidental death, or murder? For Scotland Yard’s Inspector Grant, the case becomes a nightmare of too many clues and too many motives, as the world is full of people who wanted the movie star dead.

Review:
This really isn’t a big improvement over the last one. Coincidence still trumps actual investigation as a method for discovering facts. An example is the plucky girl who, convinced of someone’s innocence, goes off in search of an overcoat that will prove it. And just so happens to run into a lorry driver (at the first place she stops to inquire) who gave a lift to an itinerant china mender who’s well-known for nicking overcoats and boots. And whaddaya know, he leads her to the coat.

Two more holdovers from the first novel are the foreigner bashing (though less prevalent this time) and the idea of an actress so radiant that she outshines her leading men. The mystery itself is okay, I guess, though nothing really great. A couple of new characters are fun, though. I wouldn’t mind seeing Erica (the aforementioned plucky girl) again and crime reporter “Jammy” Hopkins is also a fairly interesting addition.

Another of Tey’s Inspector Grant mysteries, The Daughter of Time, has been much praised, but right now I’m having a little difficulty reconciling these first two books with something of such (alleged) calibre.

Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog) by Jerome K. Jerome: B+

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From the back cover:
“There were four of us—George, and William Samuel Harris, and myself, and Montmorency.”

Three men, and a dog, in a boat on one of the prettiest waterways in the world—the Thames—in summer. Idyllic, wouldn’t you say? Perhaps, if George hadn’t insisted on camping, and if someone had remembered the can-opener, and if… well, maybe not idyllic, but certainly hilarious, as you’ll discover when you take the trip yourself with three men and their dog.

Review:
Typically, things deemed “hilarious” rouse in me only a smile, but this book really did elicit a large quantity of giggles and one all-out cackle. This last, however, was the result of a bit of creative license taken by the fabulous narrator, John Rainer (who sounded like a cross between Sylvester McCoy and Ringo Starr—a compliment, I assure you!), where he added some panting sound effects to a bit of doggy dialogue. I seriously rewound it, like, six times and made other people listen to it, too. His performance was responsible for making this book even funnier than it ordinarily would have been.

The premise of the book was simple: believing themselves to be generally ill, overworked, and in need of rest, a trio of friends decided it would be beneficial to their health to have a jaunt up the Thames. What followed was a mix of travelogue, silly mishaps and escapades, random and tangential musings, and the occasional rhapsodic ode to nature. The majority of the time, these were entertaining—I particularly liked the segments on “delights of early morning bathing” and “disadvantages of living in same house with pair of lovers”—but occasionally, especially in the case of the rhapsodic odes, it got rather dull. It seemed the end was especially laden with these episodes and so, in consequence, dragged.

I was a fan of British humor to begin with, but I definitely enjoyed this book more than I’d expected to. I’ve heard the sequel, Three Men on the Bummel, isn’t quite as amusing, but I’ll probably check it out all the same. Rainer doesn’t appear to’ve recorded it, alas.

Hornblower During the Crisis by C. S. Forester: B

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From the back cover:
Although unfinished at the time of C. S. Forester’s death, Hornblower During the Crisis delivers a full measure of action at sea—the hallmark of this incomparably exciting series of historical adventures.

On the threshold of securing his first post as captain, Hornblower finds himself forced by the exigencies of war to fight alongside a man whom he has unintentionally helped to court-martial. And for the first time, Hornblower assents to engaging in espionage in his efforts to bring victory and glory to England in the Napoleonic Wars.

This extant fragment of Forester’s final Hornblower novel is followed by the author’s notes regarding the novel’s conclusion. Also included in this volume are two stories—”Hornblower’s Temptation” and “The Last Encounter”—that depict the great sea dog Hornblower in his youth and old age, respectively.

Review:
I liked what there was of Hornblower During the Crisis, but the best was probably yet to come. Hornblower had the opportunity for one daring exploit and to hatch one clever plan, but that was about it.

The short stories weren’t too exciting, either. The first, here called “Hornblower’s Temptation” but also known as “Hornblower and the Widow McCool,” initially reminded me a little of The Crying Game. Hornblower was appointed to oversee a captured deserter and, in his role as reluctant executioner, made a deal with the prisoner to convey a message to his widow. Things unfolded quite differently than expected, but since it all played out kind of like a Nancy Drew adventure game, the effect was less than amazing.

In “The Last Encounter,” Hornblower was 72 and was enjoying a post-prandial glass of port when a fellow turned up at his house claiming to be Napoleon Bonaparte. This story was short and kind of pointless, though it did have a couple of cute moments between Hornblower and his wife, Barbara.

If I’d been a Forester fan as he was writing, I surely would’ve been disappointed with this final collection of his Hornblower works. Happily, though, since I’ve switched to reading by internal chronology, I’ve got two further books to go that hopefully will be better than this.

Lunchtime ramble: there is no coincidence, only hitsuzen

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Work has been insane for me this week, as I prepare information for our company’s tax accountant, and it becomes impossible for me to leave work at work at these times of year, so I haven’t had a lot of time to think about anything, you know, fun. Fortunately, last night after visiting our own tax accountant (and by “our own tax accountant” of course I mean “the random accountant we were assigned to this year by H&R Block”), Paul and I had a nice, relaxing dinner, followed by a stroll to the local comic shop, and as a result, I came home with two shiny, new volumes of xxxHolic. I haven’t discussed xxxHolic much here, or anywhere else, leading some friends to believe that it is about porn (um, no), so since I did let myself read the first of my new volumes (volume seven) last night before bed, I thought I’d take a moment to talk about it.

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