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From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you have just picked up this book, then it is not too late to put it back down. Like the previous books in A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, there is nothing to be found in these pages but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to read.

Within the chapters of this story, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway, and parsley soda.

I have sworn to write down these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to read something else instead, you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
I am happy to report that I liked this every bit as much as The Austere Academy, and that my fears about repetitive plots have been assuaged.

We are truly in the throes of an arc here, and on top of that, another mystery concerning the Baudelaire mansion itself is introduced and even more clues about the mysterious Beatrice are sprinkled into the storyline.

One really oughtn’t judge this series based on the first few books alone. Keep going and your diligence will be rewarded.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don’t. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.

Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night’s sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
There are similarities between the plot of this book and the last, and I thoroughly despised the head of the school, Vice Principal Nero, but I’d still rate this as the best of the series so far.

It was good to see the Baudelaires try a different tactic when they recognized Olaf, as it reduced the number of scenes in which the adult authority figure du jour is being excruciatingly obtuse. And I quite liked the Quagmire triplets, as well. I hope we see more of them.

What I most liked, however, was the ending. All of the books have a cliffhangery ending, mostly concerning what unfortunate events will next befall the Baudelaires, but this one is special. It really feels like this might be the start of an arc of some kind. Lemony Snicket’s personal snippets are getting more interesting, as well, and might actually figure in to the overall plot before we’re done.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumbermill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.

The pages of this book, I’m sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.

I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven’t, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
This one made me giggle before I even opened it. Why? Coupons. :)

This is also a very big improvement over The Wide Window. Hooray for variation! There were many switcheroos this time around that I greatly appreciated, but shan’t enumerate, a word which here means “blather on about spoilerifically,” because that would be mean.

Suffice it to say that this story is great, good enough for me to overlook some extreme silliness concerning the properties of gum, and that I am now especially looking forward to the next one, which is about boarding school.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are holding may be the worst of them all.

If you haven’t got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signaling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair.

I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
The plot of this book is essentially the same as The Reptile Room, though I did not like it as well as that book. Once I paused in my reading, I actually had trouble working up the desire to continue.

To successfully employ a plot formula, one should treat it as a template. A story structure or framework upon which new ideas may be secured, and which might actually inspire creativity by forcing one to find ways to innovate while maintaining the essential pattern. So far, this series doesn’t do that. Maybe it’s too early to expect significant variation, but I’d like to see some soon.

Once I got back into the story, I did enjoy the conclusion, especially the sequence where everyone is going “bluh,” Sunny’s use of a couple actual words, and the moral offered in the final few pages. Bonus points for trying to drill in the concept of “it’s” versus “its,” as well.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you have picked up this book with the hope of finding a simple and cheery tale, I’m afraid you have picked up the wrong book altogether. The story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire children spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle, but don’t be fooled. If you know anything at all about the unlucky Baudelaire children, you already know that even pleasant events lead down the same road to misery.

In fact, within the pages you now hold in your hands, the three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odor, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp, and the reappearance of a person they’d hoped never to see again.

I am bound to record these tragic events, but you are free to put this book back on the shelf and seek something lighter.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
I found this to be a big improvement over the first book. I didn’t get my wish for a villain with more depth, but he did come across as more menacing this time, at least. This book was also more amusing, eliciting grins, a giggle, and a few snerks. My favorite snerkworthy moment was when Sunny’s cry of “Ackroid!” was translated as meaning “Roger!”

So, more menace, more humor, and also.. more sorrow. The ending here is truly sad, and all the kids are very endearing in their response, but I’m developing a soft spot for emotional Klaus. Of course, I appreciate Violet’s level-headed resourcefulness, and I have to praise writing that can make a super-chomping infant character not incredibly annoying, but Klaus is the one who really needs a hug.

Really, the only negative is that I seriously want to throttle Mr. Poe a large amount of the time. Which I guess is the point.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

I’m sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.

In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.

It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
There’s a lot of charm in this little book, and the few flaws I can find with it (evil-plan-proclaiming villain, obvious plot points…) probably are largely because I am not its intended audience. I liked the characterization of the two elder Baudelaire children quite a lot, especially that they are sensible thinkers.

Much has been mentioned about the style of writing in these books. I vacillate between appreciating the use and defining of possibly unfamiliar vocabulary for children and finding these interruptions irritating for getting in the way of the narrative. I do wonder if kids will have slightly incorrect ideas of what these words mean, in the way they are explained as regarding the action of the plot.

I have managed to remain completely unspoiled about this series, so I have no idea what to expect as I proceed. I shall confine my hopes to a villain with a little more depth.