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Reviews

My First Love’s Kiss, Vol. 1

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By Hitoma Iruma and Fly. Released in Japan as “Watashi no Hatsukoi Aite ga Kiss Shiteta” by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen Press. Translated by Kiki Piatkowska.

Tempted as I am to just write “Christ on a cracker” and let that be my review, I suppose I should get into the nuts and bolts of this thing. First of all, I feel retroactively annoyed with Adachi and Shimamura 11. I’ve mentioned many times before how this author has a cast of characters that are all part of the same “world”, and they flit in and out of each other’s series. That was the case with Adachi and Shimamura 11’s review as well. Little did I realize just how MUCH those characters took up all of Book 11, to the point where it now reads as nothing more than an ad for the author’s darker yuri series. (A&S 11 came out the same day as the final volume of this one.) The author also states in the afterword that this is a “romantic comedy”, then admits readers will get annoyed at them for saying it. Which is very true. This is a trawl through the sewers of love, and it will make you feel dirty.

Takasora is very, very surprised when her mother one day brings home someone she knew when she was in school, along with the woman’s teenage daughter, and announces that they’re now living there. The other teen, Umi, is very pretty (a fact Takasora will mention over and over again throughout this book), but also doesn’t seem all there, and there’s clearly something going on behind the scenes that Takasora… really doesn’t want to get involved with. Unfortunately for her, not only does she slowly begin to get obsessed with Umi as the days go by, but she also notices Umi going out late at night and frequently staying out all night. And there are rumors that she’s doing compensated dating. Are the rumors correct? The other half of the book is Umi’s story, which tells us that a) yes, they are correct, and b) it’s far more desperately awful than we’d like.

So, first of all, the opening of this novel features physical abuse of one of the heroines. FYI. Secondly, the rest of the book features emotional manipulation of the same heroine. Takasora is the easier part of this book. She’s immediately very attracted to Umi, can’t really work out why, and spends the book realizing that she’;s in love. Umi has spent most of her life bouncing from house to house with her mother. The better households ignore her, the worse ones abuse her. Then six months ago, she meets a gorgeous older woman who wants to pay her lots of money to have sex with her. And Umi falls for this lady HARD. It’s the first caring and affection she’s ever really received, and even though she knows the woman is a creepy pervert, and that this is illegal, and that love is not involved, she still confesses and begs her to NOT pay her anymore and just date her normally. (Something which the other woman notably does NOT do.)

A brief extra note to talk about the connections to Adachi and Shimamura, for fans of that series who I know are curious. The first half of A&S 11 can pretty easily be understood after reading this volume. The “kimono lady” 15-year-old Shimamura meets, who acts creepy but states straight up that Shimamura is one year too young for her, is the lady who is involved with 17-year-old Umi in this series. The last half of the book might be more confusing, as I’m pretty sure the senpai that Shimamura meets on her vacation with Adachi in Takasora from this book, only their personality is literally NOTHING like this Takasora, so I may be wrong. Most ominously, Chiki (the kimono lady) at one point apologizes to Umi for being a) late and b) in an out-of-place yukata, as she was “visiting Hino”. Hino as in Hino and Nagafuji Hino?!?! It’s even implies she stays at their estate. Given everything about Chiki makes me recoil in horror, I kind of hate this.

I will probably read the other two books in this series, as I want to see what happens and how it ties in to a yuri series I do enjoy. But man, I cannot recommend this at all unless you revel in the most toxic yuri and do not mind feeling like your skin is crawling while reading most of this.

Alya Sometimes Hides Her Feelings in Russian, Vol. 5

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By Sunsunsun and Momoco. Released in Japan as “Tokidoki Bosotto Russia-go de Dereru Tonari no Alya-san” by Kadokawa Sneaker Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Matthew Rutsohn.

It’s been about ten months since the last non-short story volume of Alya, and since then we’ve started the anime, which is doing a pretty good job, even if it’s also reminding us how hard it can be to watch Alya herself at times. It’s also facing stiff competition from Too Many Losing Heroines!, another anime that is very interested in light novel cliches. But while Makeine uses the tropes straight on occasion but for the most part wants to call attention to them and deconstruct them, Roshidere positively revels in the tropes. It will give you the fake incest, the boob measurements, the “I saw the girls I like changing” gags, walking in on a girl naked out of the shower is literally engineered here. Now, it’s not the point of the series. The point of the series is seeing Masachika and Alya both struggle to have any self-worth at all despite both being ludicrous geniuses. But it *is* why people obsess with this series.

We start by “resolving” the cliffhanger from the fourth volume. It’s not actually resolved at all, really – even if Masha isn’t already aware she’s the forgotten childhood friend, anyone in a light novel who confesses and then says you don’t have to give me an answer right away is already digging a massive hole it will be impossible to climb out of. In the meantime, it’s culture festival time, and the student council are stepping in where needed. In fact, they’re stepping even above and beyond – Hikaru’s band collapsed due to romantic drama, and they need three new band members… which might be a good opportunity to Alya to sing and show leadership skills. More importantly, there’s a quiz game where Yuki and Alya will be competing against each other. Supposedly a fun contest, you know it’s actually a proxy war in the election.

Alya is doubting herself. She wants to be able to stand on her own, to not have to depend upon Masachika as much as she has in previous books. (She also wants Masachika to ask her out on dates, but let’s leave that aside for the moment.) She does a great job in this book! Possibly too great a job. Masachika’s ridiculously huge self-hatred has driven everything he’s done in this series since the start, and we wallow in that in this book, whether it drives his cowardice in not actually asking Alya for that date, to his jealousy over seeing her get along with his other male friends, to his despair at realizing that she is growing and becoming able to stand on her feet… without him. His final words to her at the end of this volume imply that once she’s won, he’s going to quietly bury himself so that she can move forward without him holding her back. I do hope that before he finishes his self-loathing Samson act he at least crushes the asshole piano prodigy who’s trying to destroy Alya first, however.

If you enjoy seeing insecure and pessimistic kids avoid being in love with each other and lots of girls in underwear or even naked, this series is written just for you.

My Happy Marriage, Vol. 7

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By Akumi Agitogi and Tsukiho Tsukioka. Released in Japan as “Watashi no Shiawase na Kekkon” by Fujimi L Bunko. Released in North America Yen On. Translated by David Musto.

Every so often, I hot a point in a book where a plot point bounces off me so hard that I just go “NOPE” and throw the book away. Usually it’s pretty easy, as it’s in the first or second volume in a series and I can easily just drop it and never look back. It’s much harder when it’s in a series I really like. I don’t WANT to drop this series. And yeah, the second half of the book is basically everything we wanted to have happen. But man alive. I absolutely did not need the main plotline of this volume, whose entire purpose (and it’s clearly, deliberately on purpose) is to fill this volume with drama even though all the roadblolcks and evil villains have been taken care of. It is there to pile on the pain and suffering once more, and I’m not sure it makes the resolution sweeter for that fact. Basically, there is a scene (it has the words “I hate you” in it) that made me want to jump into the sea. Anyway. Moving on.

It’s finally time. We’re at the wedding, Miyo looks gorgeous, the guests are here, everything is prepared… and the groom is absent. Clearly it’s time for a flashback to show how we got to this point. Miyo is doing her best to get ready for being an actual wife, including facing up to the fact that she will need to be intimate with her husband (when she can’t even say the word “darling” without falling over with a red face) and also trying to brush up on her cooking skills, which are already miles better than her sister-in-law but could use some work. While at a cooking demonstration, she runs into an old classmate from elementary school, who was the other “quiet, shy girl nobody liked” in class, and Miyo gets told a rather depressing story about a sacrificial marriage. She then goes home… and has the scene I mentioned at the start.

The good and bad thing about this series is that it is filled with the supernatural, and there are tons of things that have something evil, monstrous, or twisted as their cause. This is bad because it means that we get everything that happens in this book, which involves curses, evil from the previous generation seemingly trying to rise up and make Kiyoka late for his wedding, and in the end, straight-up murder attempts. The good thing is that it means that we don’t have to have all those horrible romance cliches of “I misheard you and we must now not talk to each other for the next five volumes” miscommunication. It turns out to really be a curse. We also get to see discount bargain-basement Kiyoka and Miyo, who are there as an object lesson in how sometimes you can try to escape a terrible life by entering into an arranged marriage with a stoic, cold man and it goes really badly. I don’t think there’s supposed to be a moral here, like “they should have tried harder”, I think it’s just meant to be “there but for the grace of God go I”.

The good bits of this book were very good. The wedding was fantastic, the ceremony afterwords was heartwarming, the wedding night was moved offscreen but we assume it happened without a lot of blushing and awkwardness, and after that there’s only one minor knife to the heart to deal with and we can get our happily ever after. Except we get an 8th volume soon, so now we get My Happy Married Life. I’ll be reading more. Just… perhaps fewer road cones for the sake of being road cones?

Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 19

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By Fujino Omori and Suzuhito Yasuda. Released in Japan as “Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka?” by GA Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Dale DeLucia.

I needed this almost as much as Bell did. I suspect there are a few people who will be disappointed by this volume. After the highs and lows of the last few arcs, something like this, which is a deliberate “let’s do something totally different” thing, might feel out of place. But the volume is also filled with hints that we’re getting close to, if not the end of the series, then at least the beginning of the end of the series. Bell is being prepared for heroism, and he is going to be a hero. He’s being forced to pay attention to the world outside of Orario, and we see m,any signs that things outside Orario are not happy and peaceful. And, of course, despite yet another addition to the harem this time around, there’s still one main couple that is holding everything back. (Aiz is entirely absent from this book, pointedly so.) So yeah, let’s do it, why not a magical academy volume?

We pick up after the end of the last book. Freya Familia is no more, and in fact a large number of them are now staff at The Benevolent Mistress, presumably to watch over Syr, who is getting absolutely worked to death by irritated gods who are still upset about everything Freya did. Another large number of them are watching over Haruhime, whose secret level up powers are now known to all, and Lyu, who has returned from seeing off Astrea and has made peace with her past at last (and joined Hestia Familia) in order to make sure they are not kidnapped. Bell thinks his Familia,. now with added Lyu, should head right back into the dungeon, but Eine tells him it’s a good time to relax. It has been (good lord) six months since the start of the series. That’s a LOT to happen to Bell in that little time. He deserves a break. He deserves… to be abducted by Hermes and forced to infiltrate the massive floating school that’s just docked at Orario for the next few months.

There’s almost a deliberate lack of originality here. After nearly getting caught infiltrating the high security school, Bell has to disguise himself as an ordinary Level-1 rabbit boy and pretend to be meek and still learning. And then he promptly gets assigned with all the class losers, who can’t work together to save their lives, even though they’re powerful. Also in the group is Nina, Eine’s younger sister, who is having a lot of trouble living up to her sister’s standards and it’s crushing her. Her scenes with Bell are some of the best of the book. I also enjoyed seeing Bell studying hard, and his studies later proving useful in actual dungeon battles. Bell was always naive and inexperienced, but he was never stupid, and now that he’s no longer inexperienced (we’ll put a pin in naive for now), his smarts are really impressive.

Basically, by the end of this book you definitely see WHY the gods are pinning all their hopes on Bell. Unfortunately, we’re caught up with Japan again. Fortunately, we’re getting the last volume of depress-o-thon Astrea Record soon, as well as the first Sword Oratoria light novel in over four years. So there’s plenty of stories to be told in this world. This is just a “Bell is a student” one.

Sword Art Online Alternative: Clover’s Regret, Vol. 1

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By Soitiro Watase and Ginta, based on the series created by Reki Kawahara. Released in Japan by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Stephen Paul.

So, just like the Re: Zero SS collection, we’re getting this one a bit late. The first volume of Clover’s Regret, the second in the “Alternative” spinoff series, came out in 2016, after the 5th volume of the Gun Gale Online books. But we had to wait till we’re caught up with both the main series, its Progressive rewrite, *and* the GGO series before we get this spinoff. Part of that is because, unlike GGO, this never got an anime, and it features none of the main SAO cast. It doesn’t have an obvious hook to pull in Kirito casuals. The other reason, I think, is that unlike other Yen On light novel series from hell with extensive spinoffs, SAO has always been Stephen Paul’s baby, and I think we may have waited for this one just so that he can translate it properly rather than try to get someone new in. In any case, you’re not “missing” anything like we were with Re: Zero SS. This is pretty standalone.

Asuka Empire may not have the #1 ranking of ALfheim Online, but it tries harder. A far more Japanese-based MMORPH, it’s been struggling to keep its high ranking now that everyone has access to the Seed. As such, it has a new event that’s horror-based, and it’s also allowing users to submit their own game ideas to the event. Meanwhile, our heroines, matter of fact, somewhat emotionless Nayuta and genki, lovable scamp Koyomi are trying to clear one of the quests, which involves a mysterious ghost orchestra. While doing this, they meet a rarity in games like this – an old man, who has never gamed before but is really desperate to solve the ghost orchestra game for some reason. He was told about an in-game detective named Klever who might be able to help him. Why is he so interested in this quest? And what’s with that fox-faced detective?

This is another slow burner. About halfway through, I wondered, as I sometimes do with other spinoffs of popular franchises, why this could not have been a book on its own with no ties to Sword Art Online at all. But that’s just because the book saves all its twists for the second half, piling them on one after another. Not only do half the cast have a personal connection to the original Aincrad SAO game, but the ghost orchestra quest itself is written by a member of the Sleeping Knights… a member who, like so many other members of that party, has now died. (We’re told in this volume that Yuuki died “a few days ago”, which nails down the timeline.) The cast are excellent, particularly Nayuta and Klever… I’d argue that Koyomi is mere comic relief, but the author agrees with me, and states that her part was supposed to be smaller but she kept butting in. I hope she gains more depth next time.

Sorry not to go into my usual spoilers, but this book has good spoilers, so I recommend experiencing them yourself. Also, unlike GGO, this is a limited series of 3 books, so should not take up too much of your time. Go check it out.

Re: ZERO ~Starting Life in Another World~ Short Story Collection, Vol. 1

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By Tappei Nagatsuki and Shinichirou Otsuka. Released in Japan as “Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu: Tanpenshuu” by MF Bunko J. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Sarah Moon.

First of all, I appreciate that we have a new translator for the short stories. The plan seems to be to release these volumes one month after the main volumes till we catch up, so putting all that on the same person would be a strain. Secondly, of course, we’re getting this a bit late. This volume first came out in 2014, in between Volume 5 and 6 of the regular series. It also introduces us to Liliana, someone who appears as a major supporting character in the 5th arc and who we are expected to have known about from this story. So, kinda like the Index SS books. Also like the Index SS books, it’s great to see these licensed anyway. They provide a lot of really good fluffy fun, introduce a character who’s important later, and give important backstory to two more supporting characters. And, perhaps most importantly, it gives Subaru a chance to really get in a ton of tsukkomi. Especially in the first story. Comebacks for all.

There are four short stories in this book. Two of them were written to appear in my nemesis, Monthly Comic Alive, and two of them are original for this book. The first, which ran in Comic Alive over 3 issues right after the 3rd volume came out, has a traveling bard named Liliana arrive at the mansion, looking to compose a song about a hero that hasn’t been composed yet. She also, unfortunately, has some people trying to kidnap her, who also come to the mansion. The second story has Subaru trying to give Rem a day off, after seeing how she basically does everything in the mansion, and Rem’s struggles to actually not work. This appeared after the 4th novel. Then we get the two original stories. The first shows Priscilla, having just chosen Al as her knight, returning to her newest husband, and Al learning what said husband has planned for her. The other one shows Emilia falling asleep and ending up in a parody of Alice in Wonderland.

The biggest thing I noticed while reading this book, which I would not remotely have noticed had I read it in publication order, is just how long it’s been since we’ve had Rem in this story. The second story is all about Rem, of course, and the first one has a heaping helping of her. She gets to show off her strength, speed, and pure adoration of Subaru here, and her fans should eat this up. Liliana’s introduction is also good, and she and Subaru have an instant boke/tsukkomi relationship that feels different from the one he already has with Emilia. Emilia’s Wonderland story is mostly silly, but the Priscilla story may be the best in the book. We get another good look at Al’s own “talent” in beating the odds, and we get to see exactly why Priscilla is one of the chosen candidates and why people absolutely revere her. She’s an arrogant, abusive ass, but she earns every bit of the adoration she expects to receive.

So yeah, this was fun. Nothing really serious, apart from bits of the Priscilla story. Fans should love it.

The Hero and the Sage, Reincarnated and Engaged, Vol. 1

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By Washiro Fujiki and Heiro. Released in Japan as “Eiyū to Kenja no Tensei Kon: Katsute no Kōtekishu to Konyaku Shite Saikyō Fūfu ni Narimashita” by HJ Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Joey Antonio.

So, I have good news and bad news about this title. Let’s start with the bad news, as I suspect that a lot of you were suspect some really good AO3-style Enemies to Lovers with this book, based on the title and premise. And, I mean, before reincarnation, they were on opposing sides in a war and really loved to fight each other. But “enemies” is the wrong word, as both of them turn out to be kind people who always end up making the battle all about them in order to minimize casualties for everyone around them. They’re secretly sweetie pies. And once they’ve been reincarnated, there’s no awkward reunions or tsundere denial in sight. They’re both on the same side now, they can (well, with a few conditions – see below) fight each other, and they can be utterly goddamn adorable and ludicrously badass. That’s the audience that this book is for. OP Sweethearts to OP sweethearts.

Years and years ago, the hero Raid Freeden and the sage Eluria Caldwin fought each other for ages, both equally matched – he with his ludicrous strength, her with her incredible elven magic. Then one day he hears that Eluria has died. In sheer disbelief that anything could kill her (she was young for an elf), he runs straight into their country, taking multiple mortal wounds, just to arrive at her coffin, confirm her death, and then pass away himself. Now it’s centuries later and everyone can use magic… everyone, that is, except Raid Fredeen, commoner in a small village, who ends up breaking magical devices when he touches them. Then, when he’s about 16 years old, Eluria (now a human) shows up at his village. Like him, she was reborn with all her old memories, and she’s spent over a decade searching the country to try to find him. Sure, his lack of magic means he’s a second-class citizen. But she’ll do anything to make sure they can fight each other again… even get engaged!

This is cute and fun, and that’s all it’s trying to be. Don’t expect amazing plot twists here. The plot is basically that it’s unclear how Eluria, who was perfectly healthy, suddenly died in the past, why they were reincarnated with all their memories, and if someone is behind that. But we’re reading it for Eluria being so “floaty” when she’s half-asleep that she hangs all over her new fiance, and Raideen being cool and suave. We get the standard one (1) male friend, with glasses and a fondness for magical support equipment; one (1) female friend who’s also from the country and is mostly there to be comic relief, and one (1) obnoxious noble who thinks he’s better than everyone and needs to have reality beaten into him. Fortunately, this is a noble who learns his lesson pretty fast and actually *is* competent, which already ;puts this over other cliched magical academy books.

Most modern light novels let you know if you’ll like it or not by the cover art and premise. If you like cute, fluffy romance between two people who could kill you a million times over, this is right up your street.

The Royal Hostage Has Vanished: The Black Wolf Knight Yearns for the Persecuted Princess, Vol. 1

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By Ajigozen and Yura Chujo. Released in Japan as “Hitojichi Hime ga, Shōsoku wo Tatta. Kuro Ōkami no Kishi wa Rinkoku no Shiitagerareta Hime wo Zenryoku de Aishimasu” by DRE Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by Emily Hemphill.

This is another in the Heart imprint that is primarily narrated by the male love interest, though the princess does get several POV scenes throughout. It’s important in this story because it helps drive the narrative more if we’re following the Knight gradually realizing what has happened to the princess and the circumstances she’s had to live with before we move to her side and get her own thoughts on this. It also helps sell the love a bit better, which is good, as this is a series that very, very much runs on “love at first sight”, and if that’s not a favorite of yours you should be very aware. But it’s fine, they’re both good kids, and frankly it’s a lot less terrifying than the power couple that may have happened if the royal hostage had not vanished. Sonia and Alphonse are, at their core, far too similar to work in a series like this.

Brigandia and Sylvario were at war, and Brigandia has won. Now it’s time for reparation, but Sylvario suggests that in return for less of those, they offer their fourth princess in marriage to Brigandia’s third prince. Which is fine… but the princess leaves Sylvario and never turns up in her new country. Ark, the head of the knights, goes to figure out how in God’s name a princess’ carriage with full guards and accoutrements could have been waylaid by bandits or other such reasons for “vanishing”. Unfortunately, he rapidly finds that no one in the towns along the way even noticed a royal carriage. And when he gets to the royal residence, he finds to his horror that Princess Sonia was an unwanted child who was abused by everyone around her. The reason she vanished… is she left in an unmarked carriage with two servants and zero guards.

This book assumes that you are familiar with and enjoy the tropes associated with this sort of series, and therefore does not need to go into great detail about them. Sonia’s only loyal servants, Laura and Tom, are both clearly far more than they seem and trained as spies/fighters/etc., but that never comes up in the actual narrative because “battle maid/butler” is just what you’d expect from the only loyal servants of an abused princess. I also appreciated Sonia’s intellect and craftiness, with possibly the best scene in the book having her take on a rival love interest in what amounts to a rapid-fire quiz game. She’s a sweet girl, and the dorky love that she and Ark fall into is cute, assuming you like dorks who blush a lot, but I also appreciate that she’s not the usual “nice and forgiving” trope we tend to see, and that she really does want to see her abusive family destroyed, and will happily do what it takes to help that along.

This will not set any originality records, but it hit all the right buttons for me. I greatly look forward to the second book (which is apparently the final book).

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy!, Vol. 6

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By Touko Amekawa and Wan*Hachipisu. Released in Japan as “Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuukimama na Hanayome (Hitojichi) Seikatsu wo Mankitsusuru” by Overlap Novels f. Released in North America by Airship. Translated by Amy Osteraas. Adapted by Vida Cruz-Borja.

I actually had to go back and double check to make sure that this plotline had not been done before. “Trying to catch pirates who have been kidnapping noble women to sell as ‘merchandise’ to other customers” is a plotline that so obviously fits in with the sort of series 7th Time Loop is. No one is more well-suited to having a sword fight on board a pirate ship than Arnold and Rishe. And, as usual with this series, one of the better examples of its genre, it sticks the landing with ease. This gives us a lot of what we’ve come to love from this series. Another figure from Rishe’s past lives who clearly was in love with her and who makes Arnold jealous. Rishe getting far, far more involved than she has any right to be. Rishe getting intensely embarrassed and blushy whenever the idea of genuinely being in love with Arnold comes up. It’s all just adorable.

Rishe tells Arnold that she needs to go to the country’s main port city to get last-minute alterations on her wedding dress. But, of course, she has an ulterior motive. She knows that at some point around this time, Prince Arnold “kidnapped” shipbuilders from the naval country of Siarga, but kept it secret, so that when he inevitably went to war with them, they would be unaware that they actually have a real Navy. She wants to stop this in order to prevent the war, but she and Arnold also come across the kidnappers mentioned above, who are doing a trade in young, virginal noble ladies with few family attachments that can be sold to *those* sorts of buyers. The odd thing is that this sort of piracy and kidnapping is very high-risk, and would not remotely justify the sort of reward they could expect from selling off the women. If there something else going on here?

We get a few more details about Arnold’s past here, and see how his mother was killed by his own hand. Needless to say, it’s even more tragic than was hinted at previously. I honestly kind of wish that we were getting more. The series is clearly leading slowly up to its climax, especially given the cliffhanger with Rishe wanting to speak to Arnold’s father. But for all that Arnold clearly has fallen for Rishe, and you would expect that everything Rishe has done has managed to change the future, the plot requires that we worry that it will all be for naught. So every once in a while, usually when he’s looking at Rishe’s sleeping face, we get the occasional narration showing that his eyes are cold and unfeeling, just in case you didn’t think he could still start a war and kill everyone. It’s meant to keep the tension up, but… I would like a bit more insight into what’s in his head, to be honest.

Despite that, this is still another excellent volume in the series. Fans of the anime who were waiting for more will be delighted. Unfortunately, the 7th volume is not out in Japan yet, so be prepared for a long wait to see what Rishe has to say to the king.

A Surprisingly Happy Engagement for the Slime Duke and the Fallen Noble Lady, Vol. 2

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By Mashimesa Emoto and Kasumi Nagi. Released in Japan as “Slime Taikō to Botsuraku Reijō no Angai Shiawase na Konyaku” by HJ Novels. Released in North America by J-Novel Heart. Translated by Minna Lin.

Oh dear, Slime Duke is going through that Difficult Second Album. I get the sense the author was unaware of exactly why we liked the first volume so much. First of all, there is far, far less attack duck, with Alexandrine only getting to appear at the very beginning and the very end. Unfortunately, the lack of a duck around her also makes Francette far more conventional in this book, which feels at times like the writer bought a connect the dots with a light novel as the picture. There’s “communication is important if you’re going to be in a relationship!”, complete with a side of “I misheard a conversation and now believe my loving fiancee is still in love with someone else”. We get an adorable crown princess who likes to run away from her minders and get into less adorable danger. And when Francette returns to noble society, there are Evil Noble Girl 1, 2, and 3, all lined up to ojou at her in unison. It’s… predictable.

Francette and Gabriel are visited one day by one of the other Dukes, this one the Siren Duke. Who, much to the surprise of everyone, has the kingdom’s princess with her. It turns out this is all related to Francette’s duck bakery sweets-making enterprise, which has everyone demanding more of these delicious treats. The Slime Duke and the Siren Duke seem to get on well. A bit too well, maybe. But there’s no time to dwell, as they need to go to the capitol for the meeting of the seven dukes, and Francette wants to make sure that they have a unique gift for everyone. This ends up involving trying to un-grump the grumpy local porcelain maker, and take out the slime that’s been stopping him mining for the exact stuff with which to make it. With all this going on before they even get to the capital, will Francette and Gabriel ever get a chance to really talk to each other?

The best part of the book was probably the porcelain stuff. I do appreciate a grumpy old widower whose heart can be melted by nostalgic sweets (honestly, sweets in this book seem to solve almost every problem that does not require extreme violence). And I really enjoyed Gabriel taking Francette with her as he goes to fight this dangerous slime ina cave, mostly as it gives her a chance to think outside the box, which everyone admits in this book is her best feature. Given the genre of this series, it’s no surprise that a great deal of time is spent telling the self-deprecating Francette that she needs to have more confidence in herself. I would also like to see more of Constance, the steward who dresses in butler clothes but, as we see here, can wear a nice dress if the situation requires it. I need her tragic backstory, dangit.

I had thought this was the final volume, but apparently not. The third has a wedding picture on the cover, though, so that should be it. More duck, please.

Management of a Novice Alchemist, Vol. 2

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By Mizuho Itsuki and fuumi. Released in Japan as “Shinmai Renkinjutsushi no Tenpo Keiei” by Fujimi Fantasia Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Sean McCann.

It has to be said, either you are reading this series because you cannot get enough of Sarasa, or you dropped the series in disgust after this volume because of what Sarasa does in it. There’s not really a happy medium here, you’re not going to find anyone who mildly likes Sarasa but has some issues. The issues are the reason to read this. She is, on the surface, a brilliant young alchemist whose odd sense of modesty manages to somewhat hide the fact that she’s a huge powerhouse who (to the shock of everyone in the cast) is apprenticed to the most famous alchemist in the country. In the first volume, we saw her overpoweredness, and also her ruthlessness with money. Here we also see her merchant side. We still don’t get that anime flashback, but we know her parents are dead, and were merchants. This is why, towards the end, when she is accosted by bandits, she beats the shit out of them. And then, when they beg for their lives, she murders them all. And takes their stuff. This is your heroine, please get used to it.

After spending the first part of this book fixing up her shop after the damage from the hellflame grizzlies, she decides to add a few necessities to the house, such a a magic stove, a fridge/freezer, etc. To Sarasa, these are sensible items. To everyone else, they’re mind-boggling luxury, and the inn owner they know is absolutely willing to pay through the nose for a magic stove if it means she and her husband don’t have to constantly get new wood all the time. Sarasa is also after frostbite bat fangs, which she can essentially use to make portable fans for hats. This involves going to a very smelly cave and killing a lot of bats, some hilarious but dangerous consequences. Unfortunately, Sarasa looks like she stepped out of the pages of a Kirara manga. Which means a rival merchant is in town, and is treating her like a sucker. But it’s fine. Sarasa’s not the type to crush someone. Oh, wait, he’s actually a louse who’s blackmailing others. OK, yeah, destroy his ass.

Lest people think that this title is filled with nothing but Sarasa being ruthless, rest assured the bulk of it is still cute girls doing cute things. Lorea firmly sets herself up as not only Sarasa’s shop assistant but also her conscience, and we get a crash course in why shop assistants tend to stick with alchemists forever (along with a smidge of no homo, which I will blithely ignore for the moment, the one potential marriage partner we meet in this book spends his entire page count getting emasculated b y his childhood friend). Kate is cool, Iris is goofy, and the two of them are absolutely not from a suspicious background that they’re not talking about right now, nope. There’s also a lot of talk of how alchemy works, how business pricing works, and how the two combine. It’s pretty nerdy, actually, but very readable.

If a cute 15-year-old girl killing ten bandits because they tried to rob her and they may prey on others bothers you, this is not the series for you. On the other hand, I know it’s fiction, and frankly, I find Sarasa too delightfully weird (in a good way) to worry too much.

Guardian: Zhen Hun, Vol. 3

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By Priest and Marmaladica. Released in China on the JJWXC website. Released in North America by Seven Seas. Translated by Yuka, Shry, amixy. Adapted by Ealasaid Weaver.

After finishing this series, I do feel vaguely guilty. This is an epic tale of reincarnation romance, with gods, demons, battles for souls, and huge fantasy action set pieces, and they’re really quite well told. It’s also the story of two incredibly hot guys being in love and having massive amounts of sexual tension, and that’s also terrific. But when it comes right down to it, the thing I will always love most about Guardian is the police procedural aspect of it. Show me Zhao Yunlan doing detective work as he tries to figure out which of Shan Wei’s lies about his own past memories are true and which are lies in order to throw him off the track. Show me Lin Jing investigating what looks like a minor live-extending case that turns out to be the end of the world. Show me Gup Changcheng finally coming into his own as a cop by doing what he does best: help people without any thought of reward. Guardian is at its best when it’s Barney Miller.

The bulk of the first half of this book, as I noted, involves Zhao Yunlan trying to figure out how much of himself is tied up in the world’s past. This involves, among other things, realizing that an ancient stone mortar of Shennong’s is possessing his father, which is a real subplot that I actually just typed out. As for Shen Wei, well, he’s doing pretty much what he did in the first two books, which is torturing himself with guilt and hatred, being incredibly powerful, incredibly tricky, and incredibly dickish, and trying to hold on to his lover for as long as he can while at the same time arranging their separation forever. It all comes to a head at a resort where a mysterious death had occurred, which turns out to have its entire staff and customers turned into both8ing more than bone ash. Bad things are afoot.

I mentioned on social media that in the first book the character of Guo Changcheng baffled me, but I rolled with it, and that by this third book, he had become my favorite. I think the author loves him too. We learn who he really is towards the end here, but as it’s totally irrelevant to him for the most part, I won’t get into it. He’s absolutely terrified when dealing with anything remotely supernatural, to the point where he needs an auto-firing anti-spirit taser because he keeps running into them. But when he sees the families of everyone who (unbeknownst to him) has been vaporized at the resort, he comes into hsi own, getting everyone to listen to him, getting all the little details he needs to save their relatives, and generally just being a really NICE cop. And it works out for him. No, he doesn’t get the cynical Chu Shuzhi, at least not explicitly, though the subtext it hot like burning. But he gets the spirits of those he went around what is essentially a radioactive zone to save literally making a net to save his life, in what is probably my favorite scene in the entire book. He rocks.

I may give the live action drama a try, though I’ve heard its “faithfulness” is laughable. But I definitely recommend this to not only danmei fans but to those who love cops on the edge and fluffy cops and goofy cops and lovelorn cops. In supernatural fantasy China, you’re allowed to like them.

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I’m Not the Demon Lord, Vol. 6

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By Satori Tanabata and Tea. Released in Japan as “Akuyaku Reijō Level 99: Watashi wa Ura Boss Desu ga Maō dewa Arimasen” by Kadokawa Books. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by sachi salehi.

This may be my favorite volume of Villainess Level 99 since the first one. Which makes sense, given that it ties back to the plot of the first quite a bit, but that’s not why I love it. I love it because the basic idea that kicks off this volume is completely, totally bananas in every way. I have no idea how the author came up with it. I do know exactly why Yumiella came up with it, it’s because she’s Yumiella, and everything is about being the strongest. But I mean, if I told you “Yumiella imagines her left side and right side fighting each other, and wonders who would win, and the idea causes her to think *so* hard that her left side *dies* and goes to purgatory, where she is literally shown as only her left half in the illustration”, you might think that this is either a dream sequence or a minor subplot. Nope. this is what kicks off the majority of the book.

While listening to Eleanora tell her about a legendary perfume maker, Yumiella, as I noted above, thinks about her separate halves fighting. Her left side wakes up the next “morning” in the “Kingdom of Twilight”, a place for souls of the dead who still have unfinished business. Meanwhile, Yumiella *also* wakes up back in her own bed, but her left side has no feeling whatsoever… in fact, as a particularly obnoxious Lemn points out, her left side is literally dead. Now Yumiella, Patrick and Eleanora have to research the Kingdom of Twilight and that means going back to the very origins of the kingdom… which is appropriate, as the left side of Yumiella discovers that among those with regrets in the Kingdom of Twilight are the Hero, aka the first king of Valschein, and the Demon Lord… who definitely remembers Yumiella.

This book, like the last, continues the trend of “Yumiella is slightly more sensible except when the author needs her to be over the top”, and unlike the last, it succeeds. Leaving aside the actual premise, the way that they resolve the Kingdom of Twilight thing is so funny I laughed for a good 30 seconds, and also definitely falls into the category of “Only Yumiella could do this”. As for Yumiella’s relationship with Patrick, well, they’re still not quite married, but this is the strongest I’ve felt about the two of them as a loving couple. Well, OK, a loving couple and Eleanora. The three of them have fallen into being a throuple without really realizing it, and while the attraction is more friendly/familial on Yumiella and Patrick’s part, I think they both realize that they can’t really be together without her there. Eleanora, by the way, also shows off her more mature side we saw in the 5th book. (Patrick has always been mature.)

We’re caught up with Japan, so that wedding may be a while off. Till then, I was pleased to see this book give me exactly the sort of Yumiella, Patrick and Eleanora that I want.

The Former Assassin Who Got Reincarnated As a Noble Girl, Vol. 1

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By Satsuki Otonashi and MiRea. Released in Japan as “Moto Ansatsusha, Tenseishite Kizoku no Reijou ni Narimashita” by PASH! Books. Released in North America by Cross Infinite World. Translated by Jordan Taylor.

This one is definitely a slow starter. It’s taking a while to make its point, and in order to make it effectively we need to get deep into the mind of its heroine, whose reincarnation has not changed her mindset all that much, and who tends to regard almost everyone in this new world as a terrible person. Unfortunately, she’s not wrong. The main reason this is such a slog to begin with is that the only other characters in the book who are not Selena are either people she’s saved who are now devoted to her, her absent father, and terrible, terrible nobles. If this is meant to be a critique of villainess books, good job, as it felt like it was mashing together quite a few of them, with terrible adopted “heroines”, frivolous princes, arrogant ojous, etc. Even the love interest, the first prince, is in the “everything bores me except you, you’re fascinating” camp. Fortunately, things do eventually pick up once Selena is faced with something where she has to protect.

Our protagonist is 9956, a nameless assassin who dies trying to kill a prince, and ends up reincarnated as the daughter of a duke, Selena Violette. Unfortunately, she was reborn with her old memories, so she acts, as a child, like… well, like a former assassin (she tries to kill a dog with a cake knife). As a result, while her husband is away (something that happens a lot), her mother adopts a commoner girl into the family, Rosemary, who is far nicer ans sweeter and nothing like Selena at all. Unfortunately, Rosemary proves to be a holy terror, being a spoiled brat who uses tears to get her way, and if that doesn’t work she’ll order servants to attack Selena. Selena is fairly blase about this, and in fact keeps trying to hammer home to the adopted daughter that she actually needs to behave like a noble and actually study. This does no good at all. Then the nation’s two princes get involved…

So yes, the first 2/3 of this is a drag, as everyone is SO unpleasant, and also because the narrative is filtered through Selena, who has to force herself not to kill people. This is what fascinates Evan, the first prince, who had her investigated as he found it impossible to imagine someone with her background behaving the way she does. He’s clearly smitten, but also realizes that she, at the moment, is not capable of feeling much of anything, much less love. Unfortunately, before he can slowly show her what love is, one of the terrible nobles who Selena has been destroying over the past hundred pages decides to incite a monster rampage at their hunting party, forcing Selena to fight for her life… and also, much to her surprise, fight to protect the other nobles. Yes, even the nasty ones. I will admit, I wish this had been a single volume. There’s a point near the end where you can hear the author stop and add the number 1 to the cover in their head, and it makes the end a bit less dramatic than I’d like. But oh well.

So yeah, this was eventually a very good read. Just be prepared for some of the world nobles in the world before you get there.

The Abandoned Heiress Gets Rich with Alchemy and Scores an Enemy General!, Vol. 3

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By Miyako Tsukahara and Satsuki Sheena. Released in Japan as “Suterare Reijō wa Renkinjutsu-shi ni Narimashita. Kaseida Okane de moto Tekikoku no Shō o Kōnyū Shimasu” by PASH! Books. Released in North America by Cross Infinite World. Translated by piyo.

Sometimes when you get into a habit because you’re trying to project a certain image, it can feel very different when your image becomes the real you. Chloe, through the first two books, has buffed herself up to the point that it was aggravating, describing herself as the world’s strongest alchemist and a beautiful maiden. Well, now she’s managed to go toe to toe with a demon who pretty much wipes the floor with everyone else around, and she also gets to be dressed to the nines at a victory banquet to the point where Julius gets visibly jealous at the looks she’s getting. She really is a fantastic alchemist and beautiful maiden now. Thus… it’s starting to be a little embarrassing to use the phrase. It used to restore her self-confidence, but now it’s like she’s recalling her chuuni phase. This is, of course, adorable. Sorry, Julius.

We pick up right where we left off, with our heroes losing badly. That continues for a bit, though they eventually turn things around thanks to the arrival of a few surprise allies. Unfortunately, some of the villains get away, and there’s no doubt we’ll see them again. After that, though, Chloe recovers from mana depletion, then it’s shopping trips, dress fittings, drunken binges, and endless discussions of her flat chest, a staple of Japanese light novels that we simply cannot get away from. Julius is also more comfortable with her, if with no one else. Now she just has to return home, get a shop assistant who was one of her former rivals, and set about building a Hot Springs Town. While *still* being the world’s greatest alchemist and world’s most oblivious attractive young woman.

The biggest flaw with this book, which you may have figured out from my attempt at a summary, is that it suffers from Webnovel Syndrome. This is a condition that happens when webnovels, which are written in chunks a couple of times a week with little thought as to a natural volume break, are then picked up by a publisher and put out as books which require a book to end after a certain point. Let’s face it, the first quarter of this book should have been at the end of the previous book – it’s all front-loaded here. That said, if the publisher HAD done that, this book would have had zero plot at all, so I suppose it’s a relief that we get some cool fights out of it. The rest of the book very much depends on how much you enjoy Chloe and Julius’ getting closer and closer to a confession but not there yet relationship. Julius thinks his actions (and kisses) make it clear without saying it. Chloe keeps being reminded that she bought Julius and he still wears a slave collar, so confessions might not be reliable.

I assume that the next book is not just going to be building a hot spring, but who knows? Till it happens, this wasn’t as good as the previous two books, but is still good.