yuri tama

By Toshizou and Kuro Shina. Released in Japan as “Yuri no Ma ni Hasamareta Watashi ga, Ikioi de Futamata Shite Shimatta” by Overlap Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Tristan K. Hill.

It is sort of mind-boggling that I finished this series. My review of the first book was decidedly lukewarm, and the second one I actively hated. (The incest, the main reason I hated the second book, briefly crops up again here, and no surprise it’s the worst part of this book.) But as the series got to the third and fourth volumes, and its wet rag of a heroine paused from her description of herself as a pathetic piece of excrement lying at the side of the road long enough to instantly seduce any young woman who happened to say two words to her, I gradually warmed to it more and more, especially as it became apparent it was fighting a losing battle against another yuri series with a similar premise that started earlier, was far more popular, and now has a popular anime. There’s No Freaking Way Yuri Tama was not going to get cancelled, and sure enough it was. But we do get this last book.

We pick up where the fourth book left off. Yotsuba’s two current girlfriends have a bet with her childhood friend and wannabe girlfriend that will be resolved when they perform. All Yotsuba has to do is film the performance… wait, no, they don’t trust her to do that. All she has to do is watch the performance. Oh, and go around the festival. Then she’s approached by one of Makina’s fellow idol group members, Mio, who wants to figure out just why Makina would leave a huge up and coming idol group to go and be in high school for a while. She immediately sees that Yotsuba is a giant sucker, and so makes her own bet: If she watches the upcoming performance and is impressed, she’ll let Makina do what she wants. But if not, Yotsuba has to convince Makina to return to idol work. Fortunately, Yotsuba is armed with nothing except near lethal amounts of rizz.

It’s remarked on several times in this book that people can’t read Yotsuba’s mind, it’s just that everything she’s thinking is written all over her face. This of course extends to why she gets so many people to fall for her – it’s because she cannot help but be genuine and honest with everyone, and she really is mind-boggled by how sexy and attractive and sweet and good all the girls around her are. To the point where the girls need to actually be that good to match the expectations Yotsuba has for them. This is a final volume, as the author notes in the afterword, but there’s no real resolution (the author, to be honest, sounded a bit bitter about the low sales). The bets essentially return everything to status quo, Yotsuba is still “Two-timing” with her girlfriends, and the usage of that word still bothers me.

God, Yotsuba was annoying. but as I read more and more from her, I actually came to root for her more and more. Which is more than I can say for Renako.

By Toshizou and Kuro Shina. Released in Japan as “Yuri no Ma ni Hasamareta Watashi ga, Ikioi de Futamata Shite Shimatta” by Overlap Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Tristan K. Hill.

Two years is too long between volumes, and the author apologized but it was still a wrench to remind myself exactly what was going on. Fortunately, the author’s self-awareness bleeds into the work – indeed, this is a book that you have to read with your tongue in your cheek. I think I’ve already talked about how insufferable this series would be if Yotsuba were a guy, but apparently some people are finding Yotsuba insufferable anyway. And sure, I get it. This is a giant failwhale of a teenager, who cannot go for half a page without talking about herself like she’s a food wrapper on the side of the road, and yet for some reason she has two woman in love with her and agreeing to both date her at the same time, a childhood friend who’s a famous idol who confesses to her, and she cannot walk ten feet without another girl going “well, maybe”. She’s a chad.

Oh no, Yotsuba’s in a big pinch! She’s already secretly dating the two hottest girls in the school, but now her childhood friend and celebrity idol has transferred into her class! And she and her two girlfriends are getting all passive aggressive! Worst of all, it’s time for the culture festival, and the class comes up with an idea for a concert! Makina is fine with this… provided she’s not the focus, so Rinka and Yuna get roped into being an idol trio! But wait, even worse, Mai is so stressed out by Makina upsetting the balance of power among the hotties that she’s skipping school, and Yotsuba has to dress in a maid outfit and bathe/massage her to help! And… really, Yotsuba should actually resolve this love square thing and go back to her love triangle! Yotsuba’s in a pinch!

There are some things here that aren’t ridiculous. We get Mai’s backstory at last, and it turns out to be Maria-sama Ga Miteru gone wrong, as she was Yotsuba at her old girls’ private school, but fumbled it and left everyone full of anger and resentment. As such, seeing Yotsuba somehow manage to always manage to do the right thing while at the same time being a giant goofball irks her greatly. Yuna and Rinka’s “dates” with Yotsuba are sweet, and as for Makina… well, Yotsuba still has to do something about her, and having her meet the parents is not helping. Best of all is the finale, where Yotsuba works out why she’s been so worried and stressed since this book began and manages to work up her gumption and do something about it, which also inspires the rest of the class. Once a volume there’s an amazing point where you understand exactly why everyone falls for Yotsuba, and this is the one this time.

That said, this is half a book, even though it’s 250 pages. The author assures us there will be a Book 5 with the actual festival, and the good news is that it is already out in Japan, so hopefully it won’t be two more years. This grows on me more with each book.

By Toshizou and Kuro Shina. Released in Japan as “Yuri no Ma ni Hasamareta Watashi ga, Ikioi de Futamata Shite Shimatta” by Overlap Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Tristan K. Hill.

Either this book is wearing me down or I have an undiagnosed concussion injury, because I did not find this third volume of Yuri Tama nearly as annoying as I did the previous two. There are a couple good reasons for that, of course. The godawful incest plotline that plagued the second book seems to have been quietly shelved, and Yotsuba’s sisters, while still overly affectionate, have dialed themselves back. Yotsuba’s self-loathing is still very, very prevalent in everything she says, but at least her girlfriends are now telling her to stop doing that, so we’re getting there. Koganezaki continues to represent the reader’s frustrations, and is awesome. And, of course, there’s a ridiculous new love interest, but frankly, it’s handled about as well as can be expected, given that the premise of this series is Yotsuba doing something amazingly foolish and every other woman in the cast thinking “God, I can’t not fuck her”.

Yotsuba has only just managed to recover from the events of the second book and is trying to quietly enjoy the rest of her summer break, but then her sisters bring stunning news: the idol Maki Amagi is taking a leave of absence from show business. Her sisters are devastated, Yotsuba is nonplussed. Who? Then suddenly a new girl moves into the house next door. No prizes for guessing who it is. It turns out that Maki Amagi is really Makina Oda, who was childhood best friends with Yotsuba before she had to move away. As Yotsuba tries to process this, Makina asks a favor: the paparazzi think she’s dating a guy, so to throw them off the trail, can she pretend to be dating Yotsuba? Yotsuba is immediately taken in by this story that does not sound remotely fake, but how will her actual girlfriends react?

I’ve mentioned this before, but given it’s one of the most notable things about her, I’ll mention it again. When Yotsuba turns off her self-doubt and constant second guessing brain and just goes with the flow, she manages to be a fantastic romantic partner. On her date to the aquarium with Makina, we see this in action, and we also see what’s obvious to everyone but Yotsuba: the “paparazzi” thing was just an excuse, she’s been in love with Yotsuba since she was five years old. The series revels in its cliches (we get the good old “childhood marriage promise” here), but honestly things are handled about as well as I could have expected them to be. Yotsuba has a heart to heart with Rinka and Yuna (followed by offscreen sex with Rinka and Yuna – Yotsuba worries she’ll be terrible in bed, but honestly, given her personality and general vibe when moving on instinct, I think she’ll be a natural) and is still in love with them, but Makina is very much still in the picture.

There’s no fourth book yet, but the author is hopeful, and says it will focus on Koganezaki (who might get to be part of the only yuri pairing in the book that doesn’t involve Yotsuba). Till then, this is very silly but fun, especially if you ignore Yotsuba’s parade of insecurities in her narration.

By Toshizou and Kuro Shina. Released in Japan as “Yuri no Ma ni Hasamareta Watashi ga, Ikioi de Futamata Shite Shimatta” by Overlap Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Tristan K. Hill.

“Sean,” my readers say to me. “I’m happy that we’ve gotten a lot more yuri titles in the last few years, but what about fans of incest? Is there a book out there that looks closely at younger sisters who love their older sister and tries hard to do a deep analysis about whether it’s OK or not?”. OK, no. My readers never say that to me. That said, if that’s what you want, I have good news, the second volume of Yuri Tama is all about said feelings, and whether Yotsuba will decide to dump her new girlfriends for her sisters, or just have all of them in a giant polycule, or what. So yeah, good news for fans of that. If, on the other hand, you read the above and said “what the actual fuck?”, then you are like me and stared at this volume with dull horror. The author can certainly write. It’s just what they write that’s the problem.

Yotsuba has managed to pass all but one of her exams, despite possessing the worst self-loathing of any light novel protagonist ever. This means she has most of her summer break free, and she plans to spend it dating her two girlfriends (separately). Unfortunately, each date is seen by one of her younger sisters, and now they’re both furious. Yotsuba is sure they’re upset that she’s “two-timing” the girls she’s dating, or they’re upset that she didn’t tell them she was dating at all. They’re not. They’re upset because they’ve been in love with Yotsuba since they were little children, and the idea that two other hussies have snatched her away is appalling. Can a family trip to a hot spring allow Yotsuba to explain? Or will it just make things worse?

So, let’s tick off the things I didn’t hate. 1) The author is somewhat self-aware that they are writing ridiculous shit, and it gets lampshaded a few times. 2) There is an attempt at discussing the differences between sexual attraction, familial love, and close friendship. It’s an attempt that is somewhat steamrollered by the plot, but the attempt is made. OK, I’m done with good things. Yotsuba remains the most annoying narrator ever, not being able to go more than three paragraphs without reminding us how awful and pathetic she is. Her sisters are, not to put too fine a point on it, creepy, and Yotsuba seriously considering loving both of them sexually boggles the mind. And unfortunately, because of this plot, Rinka and Yuna are sidelined. The dates may be the best part of the book, both because they’re not incestuous and also because Yotsuba shows an odd confidence that she doesn’t seem to be aware of herself. I want to explore that, not whether incest is OK.

I wish I could say that the series ended here, but a third volume of this came out last month in Japan. If you are really really desperate for yuri… please read something else anyway. Also, please use the word “two-timing” correctly! It’s consensual! They both know! Explain that!

By Toshizou and Kuro Shina. Released in Japan as “Yuri no Ma ni Hasamareta Watashi ga, Ikioi de Futamata Shite Shimatta” by Overlap Bunko. Released in North America by J-Novel Club. Translated by Tristan K. Hill.

One of the strong points of Japanese light novels is that most of them are written in first person singular from the point of view of the protagonist. This is especially true of high school romcoms – when reading Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Sempai, it is immediately striking that the narration ISN’T like this. Unfortunately, this can be a double-edged sword. If your protagonist is someone whose thoughts we find ourselves entertained by, or who provides an adept running commentary, it can be quite fun. See Kyon, for example, or Koyomi Araragi. Unfortunately, when your protagonist is annoying, spending time in their head can be unrelentingly exhausting. That’s the main issue we have with Yuri Tama. Yotsuba, the main character, is a pathetic drip who hates herself, something she reminds us about every single page. Which, y’know, whatever. Except that almost every other girl in the series is in love with her. You’ll want to cry out, “WHY?”.

As noted above, our heroine is Yotsuba. The oldest of three daughters, she’s at a very prestigious high school… which she got into entirely by chance, as she used a pencil marked with A, B, C, and D to randomly choose her answers on the entrance exam. Now that she’s a second year, she’s last place in academics, and last place in athletics. However, she does have one thing that makes her stand out. She’s friends with the school’s “Sacrosanct Duo”, Rinka and Yuna. The appearances differ, but you can think “Haruka and Michiru” and you won’t be far off. They’ve also got a fan club!… one that resents Yotsuba for being near them at all. That said, Yotsuba is relatively happy with her friends… till one of them confesses to her. And then she confesses to the other one. And, brilliant girl that she is, her solution is to try to date them both and keep it a secret.

The author previously wrote “The Sidekick Never Gets the Girl, Let Alone the Protag’s Sister!”, another series where I thought it had an interesting premise but the writing choices annoyed me. I can now assume that the author and I just don’t get along. If you’re worried about the “cheating” part of the book, I would not. First of all, I figured out how this was going to resolve about two minutes after Yotsuba hooked up with her friends – it’s really very obvious if you listen to what she’s said about Yuna and Rinka. Secondly, though, this book is broad comedy, with Yotsuba’s comedy reactions to everything being the point. That’s also likely why she is how she is – the fact that everyone loves her (including her two younger sisters, something I should also probably warn readers about) because she’s so pathetic and makes you want to protect her is the comedic gag. For what it’s worth, it does land a few times. I also liked the rare moments when Yotsuba actually was good – the story of how and why she’s friends with the Sacrosanct Duo is the best part of the book.

The yuri in this book is definitely there rather than merely suggested – there’s makeout sessions, and “no, I mean I love you in a romantic way”. And, thankfully, the childhood friends are not interested in each other, so this is more of a triangle relationship rather than an OT3. That said, your enjoyment of it will depend entirely on how much you can tolerate its wet rag of a protagonist and the fact that she reminds you she’s a wet rag constantly.