A Series of Unfortunate Events

From the back cover:
To: My Kind Editor

Top secret—only for readers deeply interested in the Baudelaire case. How I pity those readers.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
Cons? Rather pointless and reminds me of the Griffin & Sabine series with its obscure epistolary nature. Pros? Short!

No answers are forthcoming in this series of letters, but we do get some tiny hints as to what occurred after the events of The End. This book could very easily be skipped, and definitely shouldn’t be approached with any expectation of clarity.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

You are presumably looking at the back of this book, or the end of THE END. The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope.

This book is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can’t stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents.

It has been my solemn occupation to complete the history of the Baudelaire orphans, and at last I am finished. You likely have some other occupation, so if I were you I would drop this book at once, so THE END does not finish you.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
Unfortunately, I found the final volume of A Series of Unfortunate Events to be somewhat of a disappointment. The first half is dull, and one feels that time that could’ve been used to settle some mysteries has been squandered. A couple of things are finally formally clarified, but a lot is left up in the air or, as the book puts it, in the Great Unknown.

At the same time, though, the point is made in the book that we seldom do get answers to all of our questions, which is certainly true. The orphans conveniently discovering all of the answers in the final volume would be satisfying, but it would also be too simple for a series that has spent the last few volumes dwelling on life’s ambiguities. I’m still annoyed, but perhaps not as much as I would be under other circumstances.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If this is the first book you found while searching for a book to read next, then the first thing you should know is that this next-to-last book is what you should put down first. Sadly, this book presents the next-to-last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and it is next-to-first in its supply of misery, despair, and unpleasantness.

Probably the next-to-last things you would like to read about are a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain, and an unsavory curry.

Next-to-last things are the first thing to be avoided, and so allow me to recommend that you put this next-to-last book down first, and find something else to read next at last, such as the next-to-last book in another chronicle, or a chronicle containing other next-to-last things, so that this next-to-last book does not become the last book you will read.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
I found the first half of this book not to be very interesting. About midway through, however, a character appears and spurs a new direction. The last half was great, expounding on the themes of moral ambiguity and less-than-perfect loved ones that were introduced in The Grim Grotto. The Baudelaires are again compelled to act in a manner less noble than they would wish. One thing in particular, though it had been alluded to in an early chapter, completely stunned me.

This book is the darkest yet in the series. Although it doesn’t answer any new questions, there is nonetheless the feeling of wrapping up some things, leaving the way clear for the final resolution in the concluding volume. My enthusiasm had kind of waned for this series (I read the previous volume two months ago), but this installment successfully rejuvenated it.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to read this book, in which the Baudelaire siblings encounter an unpleasant amount of dampness as they descend into the depths of despair, underwater.

In fact, the horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and you wouldn’t want me even to mention the worst of it, which includes mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lots friend, and tap dancing.

As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans’ lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier book in order to keep your eyes and your spirits from being dampened.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
This installment was really fun. The orphans actually fall in with some pleasant company, and the whole underwater atmosphere was really neat. I suppose the main plot ultimately did not advance much, though the ending kind of made up for that.

What I specially liked were the bits about moral ambiguities. How V.F.D. isn’t entirely this faultless organization. How it’s hard to acknowledge that someone you love isn’t perfect. And how no person is ever going to be entirely virtuous or entirely villainous. Here’s a great quote:

People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

The only false note I really noticed is that if someone swallows a spoonful of a certain condiment swallowed in this book, one is going to react a lot more violently than a mere shudder.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up—and down—a range of strange and distressing mountains.

In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.

Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
Hooray, lots of stuff happened! We get answers to some questions, make progress on others, and encounter a few new mysteries, to boot. Also, it seems like my prediction of what V.F.D. stands for might actually be correct.

Besides plot-related things, there’s also some interesting character growth this volume. Violet and Sunny in particular go through a few changes, and the older kids very nearly fight villainy with villainy. They have a bit of angst about possibly becoming villains themselves, what with having worn disguises the previous volume and been a bit deceitful, etc. It really gives a strong double-meaning to the title.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

The word “carnivorous,” which appears in the title of this book, means “meat-eating,” and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn’t mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby.

Sadly for me, my time is filled with researching and recording the displeasing and disenchanting lives of the Baudelaire orphans. But your time might be better filled with something more palatable, such as eating your vegetables, or feeding them to someone else.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
I had trouble getting into this one, and read it in a few spurts separated by as much as a week. Again, not much happens. Pretty much the main thing of note is that one question that had been around since the beginning of the series is answered. Nice, but…

As the orphans themselves admit, they didn’t really learn anything new in this attempt. And since I primarily enjoy these because of the overarching mysteries and not because of the supposed dangers of the plight in which the siblings now find themselves, I came away underwhelmed.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

Before you throw this awful book to the ground and run as far away from it as possible, you should probably know why. This book is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children’s miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful books in the world.

There are many pleasant things to read about, but this book contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to read about such things.

I have sworn to research this story, and to write it down as best I can, so I should know that this book is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
I really liked this one, as it felt just a shade darker in tone somehow, but must confess that nothing much really happened in it. Really, Olaf’s scheme takes a back seat, even in the orphans’ own minds, to discovering what the Library of Records in the hospital can tell them about the mystery of the fire that claimed the lives of their parents.

It’s nifty how the orphans have become much more self-reliant in these past two books. In fact, there was no Mr. Poe at all in this one, as they’ve completely given up expecting any sort of help from him. I wish my faith that they’ll emerge from Olaf’s clutches unscathed could be chalked up to their own skills, but I never truly believe that they’re in any jeopardy. Maybe Snicket’ll surprise me and kill one off; that’d be Whedony.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded in these pages.

I can think of no single reason why anyone would want to open a book containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats.

It is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each detail of the Baudelaire children’s lives and write them all down, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as reading another book instead.

Review:
The Quagmire arc is still in full swing, making each book less of an episodic stand alone. The basic plot of The Vile Village is pretty unremarkable in and of itself. It’s really the furtherance of the quest to free the triplets and the continued hints of some linkage between the Snickets, the Baudelaire parents, and Olaf that make for engrossing reading.

As usual, I found the ending of this installment to be very satisfying, both with how the arc was handled, Sunny’s continued gradual development, and with the uncertainty regarding the Baudelaire’s futures. I also think I might finally have figured out what V.F.D. stands for. We shall see!

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you have just picked up this book, then it is not too late to put it back down. Like the previous books in A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, there is nothing to be found in these pages but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to read.

Within the chapters of this story, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway, and parsley soda.

I have sworn to write down these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to read something else instead, you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
I am happy to report that I liked this every bit as much as The Austere Academy, and that my fears about repetitive plots have been assuaged.

We are truly in the throes of an arc here, and on top of that, another mystery concerning the Baudelaire mansion itself is introduced and even more clues about the mysterious Beatrice are sprinkled into the storyline.

One really oughtn’t judge this series based on the first few books alone. Keep going and your diligence will be rewarded.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don’t. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.

Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night’s sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
There are similarities between the plot of this book and the last, and I thoroughly despised the head of the school, Vice Principal Nero, but I’d still rate this as the best of the series so far.

It was good to see the Baudelaires try a different tactic when they recognized Olaf, as it reduced the number of scenes in which the adult authority figure du jour is being excruciatingly obtuse. And I quite liked the Quagmire triplets, as well. I hope we see more of them.

What I most liked, however, was the ending. All of the books have a cliffhangery ending, mostly concerning what unfortunate events will next befall the Baudelaires, but this one is special. It really feels like this might be the start of an arc of some kind. Lemony Snicket’s personal snippets are getting more interesting, as well, and might actually figure in to the overall plot before we’re done.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumbermill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.

The pages of this book, I’m sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.

I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven’t, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
This one made me giggle before I even opened it. Why? Coupons. :)

This is also a very big improvement over The Wide Window. Hooray for variation! There were many switcheroos this time around that I greatly appreciated, but shan’t enumerate, a word which here means “blather on about spoilerifically,” because that would be mean.

Suffice it to say that this story is great, good enough for me to overlook some extreme silliness concerning the properties of gum, and that I am now especially looking forward to the next one, which is about boarding school.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are holding may be the worst of them all.

If you haven’t got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signaling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair.

I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
The plot of this book is essentially the same as The Reptile Room, though I did not like it as well as that book. Once I paused in my reading, I actually had trouble working up the desire to continue.

To successfully employ a plot formula, one should treat it as a template. A story structure or framework upon which new ideas may be secured, and which might actually inspire creativity by forcing one to find ways to innovate while maintaining the essential pattern. So far, this series doesn’t do that. Maybe it’s too early to expect significant variation, but I’d like to see some soon.

Once I got back into the story, I did enjoy the conclusion, especially the sequence where everyone is going “bluh,” Sunny’s use of a couple actual words, and the moral offered in the final few pages. Bonus points for trying to drill in the concept of “it’s” versus “its,” as well.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

If you have picked up this book with the hope of finding a simple and cheery tale, I’m afraid you have picked up the wrong book altogether. The story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire children spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle, but don’t be fooled. If you know anything at all about the unlucky Baudelaire children, you already know that even pleasant events lead down the same road to misery.

In fact, within the pages you now hold in your hands, the three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odor, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp, and the reappearance of a person they’d hoped never to see again.

I am bound to record these tragic events, but you are free to put this book back on the shelf and seek something lighter.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
I found this to be a big improvement over the first book. I didn’t get my wish for a villain with more depth, but he did come across as more menacing this time, at least. This book was also more amusing, eliciting grins, a giggle, and a few snerks. My favorite snerkworthy moment was when Sunny’s cry of “Ackroid!” was translated as meaning “Roger!”

So, more menace, more humor, and also.. more sorrow. The ending here is truly sad, and all the kids are very endearing in their response, but I’m developing a soft spot for emotional Klaus. Of course, I appreciate Violet’s level-headed resourcefulness, and I have to praise writing that can make a super-chomping infant character not incredibly annoying, but Klaus is the one who really needs a hug.

Really, the only negative is that I seriously want to throttle Mr. Poe a large amount of the time. Which I guess is the point.

From the back cover:
Dear Reader,

I’m sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.

In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.

It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review:
There’s a lot of charm in this little book, and the few flaws I can find with it (evil-plan-proclaiming villain, obvious plot points…) probably are largely because I am not its intended audience. I liked the characterization of the two elder Baudelaire children quite a lot, especially that they are sensible thinkers.

Much has been mentioned about the style of writing in these books. I vacillate between appreciating the use and defining of possibly unfamiliar vocabulary for children and finding these interruptions irritating for getting in the way of the narrative. I do wonder if kids will have slightly incorrect ideas of what these words mean, in the way they are explained as regarding the action of the plot.

I have managed to remain completely unspoiled about this series, so I have no idea what to expect as I proceed. I shall confine my hopes to a villain with a little more depth.