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Melinda Beasi

random items on a sleepy evening

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The weekend can’t possibly come too soon. I’m exhausted in every way, and my creativity is seriously waning.

In better news, my subscription to Shonen Jump has finally kicked in, though they started me with the January issue, so I need to fill in December on my own. (I hear that Paul has picked it up for me this very evening, yay!) Also, I have become mesmerized by Shaenon Garrity’s Overlooked Manga Festival, which includes many series I have been planning to look into anyway, like Please Save My Earth and Sugar Sugar Rune, as well as a delightful write-up of Banana Fish, which I have already started and *love*. The thing you really must look at, though, is her recent entry about Moon Child, which is one of the funniest things I have seen lately. Wow. There is something sublime about that special kind of crack.

Also, I got some really helpful feedback on the most recent summary of the beginning of my graphic novel from the friend whose name I stole for the main character. It was really great to hear what she had to say, and it also left me feeling very positive about the whole thing. I have less than a month to reach my December 23rd goal, and I need all the encouragement I can get right now.

This weekend, we’re hoping to get our Christmas tree, which is honestly one of my favorite moments of the year. For an atheist, I’m bizarrely attached to Christmas. I think the Christmas story is one of the first pieces of fiction that I fell in love with, which may be an offensive concept to some, but I’m fairly certain that my feelings about fiction are not terribly different from many people’s feelings about God, so please understand the gravity of that statement. I very truly, deeply love Christmas, and all the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings that go along with it. My fascination with Christmas trees has been much mocked by my loved ones, and for good reason. Once I’ve decorated one, I have difficulty taking my eyes off of it. Expect photographs in a few days.

Now I shall attempt some script work, and try not to fall asleep.

I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you.

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The past few days have been a mix of wonder and difficulty. On one hand, I came from the long weekend having accomplished more on my graphic novel than I had in weeks, which felt really good. On the other, I’ve been thrown back into the daily grind, and it is not sitting well at all. I’ve never been good at balancing my creative life with my gainful employment, at least not since they stopped being the same thing, and I suppose that problem is simply more pronounced coming out of a long, creative weekend. Someday perhaps I’ll be able to manage this balance (or perhaps the two things will be one again), but that day is probably pretty far off.

To distract myself, I will talk about anime. Surprised? As predicted, we did finish the entire series of the Mushishi anime, and I have also now read the first volume of the manga.

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greetings from nashville

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I am officially half-way through my southern casting tour. Flew in to Nashville yesterday, where I met up with our production assistant, Cecilia, and her friend Adam, who is assisting us while we’re here. Since we were arriving in town at rush hour, we decided to grab dinner before the drive to Atlanta, which was lovely, but of course meant that we didn’t get to Atlanta until after midnight. We held auditions there this morning, and drove back to Nashville this afternoon. At this point, I am extremely confused about what time zone I’m in.

I had some much-needed downtime this evening, so I can be fresh for a new batch of auditioners tomorrow morning. We’ll see more people tomorrow than we did today, and then there are plans to see a play at Chaffin’s Barn (Cecilia’s old stomping-grounds) in the evening.

Saturday, I’ll be here on my own until it is time to go to the airport, and so the question remains: Where the hell do I buy manga in Nashville? Advice welcome.

I’ll be very happy to return to husband, dog, and cat on Saturday night. ‘Til then, hope you’re all well.

5 centimeters per second

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I’m home sick. Have been sleeping much of the day, and watching a little anime. My husband was recently introduced to Shinkai Makoto’s Voices of a Distant Star, so over the past couple of days, he and I have been watching both that and his later film, 5 Centimeters Per Second, which for some reason is the one I have fallen for most deeply. I watched it again today, and I was again struck with such deep emotion, it was difficult not to just start all over again as soon as it had finished. …

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*sniffle*

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Today I have a terrible cold, which is not so great for me, but possibly a blessing for *you* who are thus spared a long and tedious discussion of Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 8, and why the manga is so much richer than the anime, since I am much too congested to manage that level of thought. Whatever that level is.

I have Lucy with me at work today, and she is keeping my head from falling off, though I’m sure she’s incredibly bored. I have finally taken a real break, just an hour before my day is done. Fortunately, New York auditions were much more successful than they have sometimes been, and we have a lovely handful of folks to call back next week. It is starting to look like I may be attending callbacks on Monday, which I didn’t intend to do, and which will make for a very long week, as I’ll be leaving Wednesday to hold auditions in Nashville and Atlanta at the end of the week. With four tours going out in January, we’re trying to expand our files a bit, so we sent our PA to SETC auditions this year, and these auditions are a follow-up to that.

I’m feeling nostalgic this week, after seeing Christian (and even Mark, briefly!) on Monday in New York. I drift away from old friends much too easily, and that’s something I need to fix. Old friends, if you’re out there, don’t give up on me!

Lucy is growling at shadows, and I must get back to work.

this is a dog.

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The weekend is flying already. Yesterday, Paul and I took a trip up to Brattleboro, VT, where we met up with Dave & Ren, and had a lovely day exploring shops and enjoying a delicious dinner at India Palace. I picked up a tiny little book called Japanese in Thirty Hours, which promises great things. I took myself through the first lesson this morning, and can now point at Lucy and say, “This is a dog.” Very exciting.

Today, Paul will go hiking, and I will attempt to do some writing (with perhaps a bit of laundry on the side). I have a lot of ideas swirling around in my head, and I need to get them down before they flee.

Tomorrow I will be leaving the house before the crack of dawn to make it to NYC in time for auditions. We are booked solid (with a short lunch break) from 10-5, and we even have a waiting list, which is a very great thing, but makes for a long day. I will be lucky to make it back home by ten, at which time I intend to collapse on the couch with Lucy and anyone else who will join me. If I am still capable of speech at that point, I will point at her and say, “This is a dog.”

Happy weekend, folks!

timelock

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I am existing in that state that Elizabeth Ann has always referred to as “timelock.” This is a bad thing. It means that I have too much to do and too little time, and as a result, I’m feeling paralyzed to do any of it efficiently. I feel this everywhere: life, work, my inner world.

My “graphic novel” has been coming along wonderfully, or at least was until a couple of days ago, when the timelock kicked in. I have chucked stick figure drawings in favor of just writing a very clear script with descriptions, which I think ultimately will be more useful for anyone who might be trying to understand it. I am kind of in love with it, which is a great feeling, and something that has not been easy for me to come by in my own work.

Oh, timelock, please leave me. You are not welcome here.

creative morning

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I’ve been working all morning on my graphic novel (I have to laugh a little every time I say that, because of course it is never actually going to be a graphic novel unless some artist comes along to save me). It is a great feeling, though I feel like I have little to show for hours of thought and plotting. The big news is that my main character has, at long last, acquired a name. Also, some bits of the story that have been troublesome and vague up to this point are finally starting to take shape. Maybe this will actually turn into something someday. This is the most positive feeling I’ve had about it up to this point. It’s encouraging.

I hope to have scans of my sad little drawings of the main characters soon. Perhaps I can bring myself to share. We shall see.

living a life

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As you probably can see from my sidebar, I read Neil Gaiman’s blog regularly, and as I was reading last night (about his mutual fanboy encounter with John Simm), it gave me such a smile. I think what I find so charming about his blog, is that he’s just a guy out there, living a life, and it really made me think about what I’m doing with my time. I spend all this time in my own head, brooding about life and life choices, blah blah blah, when it seems like I could just be out there living instead.

Granted, it’s a lot easier to be out living a life when you have the momentum that comes from really loving what you do. But could I find that if I tried? I lived like that once, I think. Back when I was acting and still loving it, and maybe even after when I was at least still loving the travel, every day was about living. Now this is not to say that I’m unsatisfied with my life, because there is so much of it that I love. But what is all this blogging and introspection really doing for me?

I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but as I sit at my desk, forcing myself into taking a break from this long, headachy, meeting-saturated day, I wonder.

incoherant rambling

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Yes, this is what I do when I’m at lunch.

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately, trying to define myself, which is not something I generally place a lot of importance on, but has suddenly been in the forefront of my mind. Something I’ve been struggling with a lot is the feeling that the things I am doing lack meaning. I originally chalked this up to Too Much Anime, but the truth is, it is something I’ve been feeling for some time, and Too Much Anime simply provided a catalyst for discussion.

I currently have a number of half-baked projects in the works, and my official “job” is a bit half-baked right now too, which doesn’t help. Obviously I can’t finish baking everything at once (that metaphor is getting old fast, isn’t it?), which brings me again to the question of defining myself. I defined myself in my introductory post here as “singer, songwriter, theater manager, former actor, stumbling writer, dog-lover, fiction addict, mac geek, wife,” and in truth, that’s still probably only about half of the things I’d have to list if I was being really honest. One person can’t possibly be all that, so what am I?

Lately, I’ve been working on something that very desperately wants to be a graphic novel, despite the fact that I can’t draw to save my life. For the time being, I’ve been sketching out frames with stick figures and other indeterminate shapes with the hope that someone, somewhere might be able to see what I’m trying to express with them and help me bring that vision to reality. This seems unlikely, as I have no idea whatsoever how to go about finding such a person. And yet I persevere. I even spent a couple of hours attempting to draw my main characters in some way that would give the stick figures a bit more meaning, but considering how long it takes me to draw the stick figures, that may have been a bit premature. Paul found me a class to take at UMASS entitled something like “Writing the Graphic Novel,” but when I looked it up online, it had been canceled. Is this a sign?

introduction

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I thought I should start this blog off with a real introduction. I am Melinda Beasi, singer, songwriter, theater manager, former actor, stumbling writer, dog-lover, fiction addict, mac geek, wife. This is my new “real life” blog where I will stand behind my own name, and talk about all of the above as well as whatever else crosses my overactive mind.

Both this blog and I are a work in-progress. Let’s see how they play out.